Not A Review

by

It’s more of a plea for help.

Is it me or is it Woody Allen? I simply don’t get the allure. Am I too shallow? Too stupid? Too critical? The only one who sees the Emperor tap dancing naked down the parade route?

I just watched Match Point. Probably not his meisterwerk, I know, but still it’s got three and a half stars on Netflix so somebody must like it. And yet….not so much for me. Scarlett Johansson is nothing if not smoking hot and she’s not a half bad actress but she falls flat. Jonathan Rhys Meyers does yoeman work when the plot makes a run for left field and yet the man is British. How come his British accent sounds ridiculous? Brian Cox is just his regular slightly officious British dude. He’s got more in him but apparently no one was looking for that.

I was trying not to spoil the plot. There’s nothing you can do to spoil chunky milk, though, so I’m going in. You know, that last sentence would indicate that I truly loathed the movie and, truth be told, I didn’t. I just sort of didn’t…anything. Plot-wise Rhys Meyers and ScarJo get all damp and wriggly so early that we haven’t yet had time to care. Then the murder plot (Yes! Murder plot!) comes so late that it’s a 100 yard dash of loose end wrapping as we head to the end of the flick. I can’t tell you what was wrong with it really except that it wasn’t really anything. It wasn’t a romantic comedy (Netflix recommendation folk take note!). It wasn’t a murder mystery. It wasn’t a period piece, though the stilted dialogue might beg to differ. It just…wasn’t.

Maybe my Woody Allen thing is like my Coen Brothers thing. The Coen Bros switch things up and try different styles. Some of those are a home run for me (O, Brother Where Art Thou) and some are not (The Big Lebowski [I know! I hate that I don’t love it, too!]). I like Bullets Over Broadway. I like…Bullets Over Broadway. I have seen, besides the 2 movies already mentioned, Hannah & Her Sisters, Manhattan, Annie Hall, Purple Rose of Cairo, I think I saw Sleeper but I’m not certain.

Tell me, what am I missing?

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3 Responses to “Not A Review”

  1. Mrs. Chili Says:

    Whatever you’re missing, I’m missing, too. I get so much nothing from Woody Allen that I don’t even bother to watch any of his movies anymore. I saw Broadway Danny Rose (I think) and Hannah and her Sisters and I didn’t get anything from them. I chalked it up to my lack of cinematic sophistication (whatever that means), but maybe it’s not just me…

  2. nhfalcon Says:

    DEfinitely not just you two. I’ve never gotten anything from a Woody Allen film, either.

    I will freely admit to lacking a lot of cinematic sophistication, however. Remember, you’re talking to a guy who lists Steven Seagal as one of his favorite “actors.” 🙂

  3. mabnyc Says:

    It’s neither you nor Woody. I guess if you don’t get it, you don’t get it. Some people speak Japanese. I don’t. But if you subtitle it, Kurosawa kicks it. You don’t speak Woody. And you can’t subtitle Woody.

    I’m not a big fan of “Match Point”. I’m with you on that. It was okay, just not worth recommending, I don’t think.

    I am, however, a big admirer of Woody from about 1977-1994. The “early funny ones” referenced in “Stardust Memories” are okay, but when he started making films like, well, “Stardust Memories” he got much more interesting.

    My favorite of his is “Crimes and Misdemeanors”. Everything that he does well, he did best in that one. It’s dark and profound and yet it’s also really really funny.

    There’s a reason that actors really want to work with him. His casts are almost always outstanding, even if the movies are crap. (I’m talking to you, “Celebrity”.) It’s because he writes great, intelligent dialogue and respects actors. And his model has always been Bergman, who also wrote great, intelligent dialogue (okay, Swedish dialogue, but still) and respected actors. And had Sven Nykvist work the cameras for him.

    I also really like “Hannah and Her Sisters”, “Zelig”, “Annie Hall”, “Stardust Memories”, “Interiors” and “Husbands and Wives”. (He stole a line from me for that last one. I’ll tell you about it some time.)

    Other than “Match Point”, which was only okay, he’s made nothing but crap in the past decade or so, if you ask me. Although I haven’t seen “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” yet. But it just seems like he’s coasting now.

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